The Vehement Style

Original

Besides, Sir, we shall not fight our battles alone. There is a just God, that presides over the destinies of nations, and will raise up friends to fight our battles for us. The battle, Sir, is not to the strong alone: it is to the vigilant; the active; the brave! Besides, Sir, we have no choice. Though we were base enough to desire it; it is now too late to retire from the contest. There is no retreat but in submission and slavery! Our chains are forged! Their clanking may be heard on the plains of Boston! The war is inevitable; and let it come! I repeat it, Sir; let it come! 

       It is in vain to extenuate the matter. Gentlemen may cry, peace! peace! but there is no peace. The war is actually begun. The next gale that shall sweep from the North will bring to the ears the clash of resounding arms! Our brethren are already in the field! Why stand we here idle? What is it that gentlemen wish? What would they have? Is life so dear; are chains so sweet, as to be purchased at the price of chains and slavery? Forbid it, Almighty God! I know not what course others might take; but as for myself, give me Liberty! Or give me Death!

--Patrick Henry, "Give Me Liberty, or Give Me Death!" 

Paraphrase

Fight! And a bunch of stuff about god or whatever.

Blind Re-Write

My fellow men, we are guided by god, and we must fight! Our chains are being forged as we speak, and the choice of whether or not to fight draws ever closer; hark, you can see it on the horizon! For history’s winners are not only the strong, they are also the vigilant! Are the sweet embrace of chains enough to trade our lives for? Will we stand by while we are enslaved? No, for we are wise, and we know that we must fight, in the name of god!

My Own Version

Fellow sixth graders, I have written this paragraph because so many of you are in the same situation as me, that your parents will not get you a phone. A good number of us have phones already, and that only makes not possessing one worse! Our parents have phones themselves; they spend all day on them! But for some strange reason they think that us having them is unacceptable. Join me, and fight back against this hypocrisy; join me, and make them see the error of their ways; join me, and convince your parents to get you a phone!